three

1. buon harry potter

tonight i went with some friends to see harry potter 5 e l'ordine della fenice at the multiplex. on the ride there, i got a phone call. at the end of the conversation, my interlocutor signed off saying 'ci vediamo domani, buon harry potter.' now, the sense of this was totally clear and translates perfectly into english as 'see you tomorrow, enjoy harry potter.' but literally (i find literal translations so very much fun), the phrase renders as 'we'll see each other tomorrow, happy harry potter.' italians wish each other 'buon compleanno' and 'buon natale' - happy birthday and merry christmas, respectively, and that's familiar enough to a native english speaker - but they also feel so free to use 'buon' with almost any noun. the textbook example is 'buon divertimento,' which literally translates as 'happy [as in happy birthday] - happy fun time.' and so, tonight, we took it to the next level, and i'd like to send out those same wishes to the virtual community tonight: God bless us every one: merry harry potter.

2. the conditional past

to continue the grammar thread, while recently reading the end of an italian short story, it really jumped out to me that the whole paragraph was in the conditional past. and so it seems, despite my best efforts to the contrary, that i am becoming an adult. just making sure we're all on the same page, there are three types of hypothetical phrases in italian. the present: if x happens, then i do/will do y; the possible: if x were to happen, i would do y; and the impossible: if x had happened, i would have done y. and let me interject here that hypothetical phrases are my personal everest of the italian language, my personal standard of fluency. if i ever am irritated with someone, bring my hands together as if in prayer and rock them at the wrists and bust out a hypothetical phrase without effort, i will be celebrating at the summit baby.

in the 'impossible' variety above, 'i would have done y' is an example of the conditional past. if the conditions had been different, i would have made a different choice. but that's impossible. there's no turning back. the conditional past is grammar's recognition that our choices have consequences, that these choices matter, and that time travel doesn't exist: past choices can rarely be undone. with all this in my head, reading the last paragraph of that story, i surprised myself by saying, 'oh SHIT!'

3. jogging part II

although it's been very hot, i've been running more and more. this is partly because exercise helps me unwind and work out the stress of my projects, not knowing when it's appropriate to address someone formally or informally, and continually attempting and failing to construct correct hypothetical phrases. but it's also because i want to sort of stay in shape, and i don't want to eat less, so i have to run more.

weeks ago i was talking with one of the neighbors who is a runner and he asked me about my route. i told him i go down to the roundabout, over the bridge, and then loop back through a rather industrial area. he looked at me incredulous, his disgust completely unmasked. that part of town? it stinks! and he made a move as though to hold his nose. i run for an hour down at the park. why don't you run there? i shrugged. well, angelo, because...i don't like running in a small circle and i like to be surrounded by heavy machinery when i work out, ok? there, i thought it. i couldn't figure out why he was so up in arms about it.

so, it's taken me weeks, but i may have had an insight into this. and may be an insight into other italian mysteries such as 'why do people wear such nice clothes and sunglasses all the time?' and 'why do people always bring coffee to the table on a tray?' if i probe angelo a little more next time i see him, i bet he would translate his disdain for running on the wrong side of the tracks as 'you run there? that's 45 minutes of your life - you could be having an experience that would be so much more aesthetic than that!' it comes as no surprise that italians are sensitive to beauty. i mean, they have some of that here. but what impresses me is the tenacity of their commitment to it in the most quotidian arenas. you're going to the store? why not put on your new shoes? some jackass american kid is coming over? why not use the best china? every moment is an opportunity to experience something beautiful - why not take another five minutes of thought and planning to make the afternoon something to write home about?